Kathryn S. McFadden
Professor Catherine Cutcher
Women’s & Gender Studies: U.S. Herstory
January 25, 2012
“Sure, I’m a feminist, but I would like to think of myself more as a humanitarian who tries to embrace the goals and values of the challenges that face everyone, feminists included,” Molly McFadden, 59, said.
“As for feminism, though, I believe the girls of the third wave have stepped onto the stage as strong and empowered. Their greatest improvement thus far, following in line from what second wave feminists set up for them, is that they have taken hold of their sexuality. They have defined femininity for themselves as beautiful subjects, not objects of a sexist patriarchy. Likewise, I’m glad that they hardly refer to themselves as ‘feminists’ because they now ignore the simple answers that have been offered in the past regarding identity, gender and sexuality. There’s so much more to it now. We understand that feminism is more dynamic and it’s not just a woman’s issue, so the word feminism has almost gone out of style. I like that. I think third wave feminism breaks boundaries that my second wave peers would have never even considered,” McFadden said.
Molly McFadden was the youngest of three and born into a family of deep southern roots. Her early memories depict a stronghold over her gender, where she was constantly treated differently from her brothers. She was never allowed to fish, go camping, or partake in many activities that were exclusively offered to the boys from her father, no matter how close her relationship with her brothers might have been. She recalls consistently being told to keep calm, speak quietly, and always maintain a happy and poised demeanor. She was not allowed to argue and, even through high school, she received no sexual education or discussion as it was assumed she would remain a virgin until marriage. She was never made aware that she had a sexual identity whatsoever.
“I grew up hearing the murmurs of ‘sit up straight like a lady,’ ‘ladies never run or play sports,’ ‘ladies don’t sit with their legs uncrossed,” McFadden said. “With my blonde hair, blue eyes and southern accent, I was something out of a Tennessee Williams play.”
One idea certainly stuck: she did remain a virgin until her wedding night.
“In the 70’s I was instructed to feel free and have sex by every corner of the media and by my peers. But culturally I just could not give way to such freedom and empowerment no matter how seductive and politically correct it all seemed,” McFadden said. “I remember reading My Mother Myself and though I inhaled its revolutionary words, I waited.”
She explains that not until she discussed this idea with her daughter did her perceptions on pre-marital sex change. She now feels that it’s a step forward in women’s rights that unmarried women can be sexual without necessarily compromising their reputations or virtue.
“The reason I was not ready to have sexual encounters was beyond culture and political issues. Because of my upbringing, I was not mature enough to engage in a relationship of that, or any, kind. I was trapped and inexperienced for such a long time.”
However, McFadden recalls an early example of women’s empowerment in her mother, who she saw as strong, resilient and bright. Marietta Scates kept food on the table and the bills paid after her alcoholic husband had finished abusing her family and finally committed suicide. McFadden watched what was a high society, beautiful, southern bell lose her femininity, sensitivity and charm; all disappearing with the daily grind of working full time and being a single mother.
“She did always wear heels when she taught school, though, and maintained her ladylike demeanor to the public,” McFadden said. “She was every bit a strong woman, stronger than any man I knew, who upheld her values and respect for herself and others, despite her personal situation. She was incredible.”
McFadden agrees that, in time, her mother was happier after her father’s death.
Betty Friedan states in “The Problem that Has No Name” from The Feminine Mystique that “a number of psychiatrists stated that, in their experience, unmarried women patients were happier than married ones,” (Friedan.)
Marietta Scates was no exception. McFadden said that her mother was the epitome of a miserable 1950s housewife depicted in The Feminine Mystique, and that her specific situation was exceedingly complex as her husband was not loving and supportive.
“Not until my Father died did my Mom find some fulfillment in her life.
She didn’t have the money or comfort that she had before, but she became a beloved teacher. I think she never remarried because she was terrified of another abusive relationship and being re-confined to the kitchen and submissive lifestyle of being a wife,” McFadden said.
Years later McFadden found herself marching in protest against the laws that would prohibit women from their reproductive rights. This was a personal issue for McFadden as she, though not sexually active, knew such rights for women were vital. She also understood that women were ill informed about protection, an idea depicted in Jennifer Baumgardener and Amy Richards’ book Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism, & the Future. “To prevent pregnancy, a sexually active woman might go to a doctor to be fitted for a diaphragm, or take the high dose birth control pill, but her doctor isn’t likely to inform her of the possibility of deadly blood clots,” (Baumgardener.)
“I could not abide with women not having sovereignty over their own lives and bodies, especially those who were victims of rape,” McFadden says. “Over time my ideas of who I am as a woman and what women’s power could do, evolved. By the time I graduated college I understood how ill educated and unprepared most women were to be functioning members of society, especially when it came to controlling their own uterus.”
Now that women’s reproductive rights have evolved and birth control has become more readily available and safe, McFadden doesn’t feel that lipstick feminists are a step backward in the movement, she believes it’s simply a new interpretation of all the progress that has come before it.
“As long as new sexual, lipstick wearing, feminists uphold their strength and integrity as women, I see no problem with this change in the look or lifestyle of the women behind this movement,” McFadden said. “At any given time, women’s rights has always been chaotic with multiple varying viewpoints and individuals, and if that’s still the case, that means it’s thriving.”
McFadden feels rejecting modern feminists because of lifestyle choices a generational gap has caused, goes against the ideals of feminism altogether. She also believes criticizing modern feminists is a waste of energy.
“At least they’re still feminists, even if they don’t specifically refer to themselves as feminists,” McFadden said. Lisa Jervis writes in “Goodbye to Feminism’s Generational Divide” of We Don’t Need Another Wave, “even if some views are more common among one generation than another, at their roots these are ideological disagreements – but they can’t be discussed productively while in disguise as generational. That disguise keeps us distracted from the real work before the movement today.” Jervis continues and gets to the heart of the generational tension in modern feminism. “Those in their twenties and thirties who don’t see their concerns reflected in feminism of their elders are ignorant of history; those in their fifties and beyond who think that young women aren’t politically active… don’t know where to look. We all want the same thing… we want gender justice. We may not all agree on exactly what it looks like or how to get it,” (Jervis.)
When McFadden looks to her daughter and her daughter’s girlfriends, she does not see failure in feminism and women’s rights. She does, like most women, believe there is more work to be done and does not see global women’s empowerment as a finished project. She also admits that it sometimes makes her slightly uncomfortable to see girls in low cut shirts and short skirts, but she acknowledges that her discomfort is potentially outdated. It gives her hope to see that each collegiate girl she knows isn’t concerned with women’s rights the way she was during her undergraduate and graduate career. To her it means the immediacy of the subject, in America, has somewhat subsided.
“Frankly, it’s a good thing that women’s rights isn’t the first thing on my daughter’s mind. This isn’t to say she doesn’t care about the income gap or the global sex trade. However, she has been able to grow, educate herself and attend college, and hardly have to question her abilities, future, or self worth because of her gender. My daughter being female has never stopped her from doing exactly what she wants in every aspect of her life,” McFadden said. “I believe, in many subtle ways, my gender affiliation did change and determine my future. I’m thrilled that it hasn’t been that way for my daughter.”
Bibliography
• Baumgardner, Jennifer, and Amy Richards. Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism, and the Future. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2000. Print.
• Friedan, Betty. “The Problem That Has No Name.” Feminine Mystique. Praha: Pragma, 2002. Print.
• Jervis, Lisa. “Goodbye to Feminism’s Generational Divide.” We Don’t Need Another Wave: Dispatches from the next Generation of Feminists. Emeryville, CA: Seal, 2006. Print.
• McFadden, Molly. “Women’s and Gender Studies - “U.S. Herstory”” Telephone interview. 19 Jan. 2012. Contact: kkat4now@aol.com
